A Single Tear

An old man rests peacefully on his favorite bench in the park. His eyes slightly unfocused, staring blankly at the pink clouds on the blossoming cherry tree. He visits the park everyday as it has become his temple for reflection and contemplation. A place where he can unite with his gods and wrestle with his demons. His memories play through his mind like a black and white movie. While he mostly observes the scenes, every once in a while, he puts one into a freeze frame, touches it, tastes it, dives into the feelings surrounding it, then lets it go and moves on to the next. Lately, he finds himself on repeat as he remembers the first moment he laid his eyes (and his heart) upon his wife. It was a warm, sunny day in the beginning of spring. He was taking a carefree walk through the neighborhoods, admiring the blossoming magnolias and budding spring flowers in his neighbors gardens. The moment she opened the door to his heart, he saw her standing below a tree with a tear in her eye as she tried desperately to coax her new kitten down from the tallest branch. He approached her slowly, their eyes met, and then both turned to the meowing creature stuck in the tree. He surveyed the situation, took off his jacket and hat, jumped to reach the nearest branch, and in a series of eloquent twists and turns, climbed to the top of the tree and rescued the kitten. When he made it safely to the ground, he was greeted with a smile that lit up the entire town. A smile that still lights up his eyes when he thinks of her, his soulmate. They had a beautiful life together and although he climbed that tree to rescue the kitten, there were many times that she climbed mountains to rescue him. As he drifts back to the park, and the poetic blooms of the cheery tree, he brings a hand to his face and wipes away a single tear born out of love and remembrance.

Lingering ghosts

She sat on the front porch sipping her iced tea, her hair wet with sweat and her dress clinging to her voluptuous body like a second skin. In the background, the mesmerizing tones of a sensual jazz singer captured her attention and whisked her into a beautiful dance. She felt herself smile as she closed her eyes and melted into the delicious sounds beckoning her into a smoky room filled with whiskey and mysterious people. For a moment she forgot that her life was elsewhere. She forgot that she ached for the busy streets where she could navigate with anonymity and live courageously without eyes watching her around every corner. The voice projecting from the radio offered refuge to her current situation. She never thought her life would bring her back to this place, to this moment, where all the growth that she experienced was stripped from her bones and she was once again a naked child. She tried everything to escape, did everything right. For a tranquil period of time, she felt comfort knowing that she finally created her own utopia where the ghosts of the past could not find her and drag her back to a place that made her feel small and insignificant. Then, one day, as she was sipping her morning latte, the phone rang and she knew she was being summoned back to the past. She stared solemnly at the caller id, losing herself for what seemed an eternity, before she finally picked up the phone and invited back all of the complexities that plagued her as a little girl. She knew she had no choice. Her sense of duty would not allow her to ignore the phone call.

Now, as she sits on the porch, listening to the familiar song, she is grateful for the moments of calm before she has to confront the lingering ghosts. She is grateful for this one magic moment.

Patient Battles

She gazes at him over the pages of her book as he sleeps soundly on the opposite end of the couch. His body curled up like a cat, his eyelids fluttering as he lives his subconscious life in the land of dreams. She takes a deep breath, a breath of appreciation, a breath of wonder. They have been through so much together. She can barely remember her life before he exploded into her world and turned things upside down, forcing her to grow in ways she never thought possible. She can feel her heart expand as she remembers the gentle unfolding of the protective petals that once surrounded her strong, yet fragile heart. There were times when she fought so hard to stay hidden behind the self-created fortress, digging deep for her warrior spirit to protect her from her fears and deepest desires. Like a shapeshifter, he found the smallest cracks in her walls and managed to meld himself to fit inside. He was patient and kind. Letting her feel like she had control when all the while he was deconstructing the fortress one piece at a time. She fought hard. She fought long. But in the end, when her ego was tired, she knew there was no way that her fear could triumph over her opening heart. He won and it was the sweetest victory for both of them.
She is nudged back to the present as she feels him stir, opening his eyes for a brief moment before drifting back to sleep. She rises from the couch, pulls a blanket over his body, and gently kisses him on the lips. She returns to her book with an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude, knowing that some battles are worth fighting.

It's All in a Song

The radio played her favorite song. She smiled and bit her lip as her head found the rhythm and began to move back and forth. She closed her eyes and let the music infuse her body, finding all of those empty, sore spaces that longed to be filled with beauty and grace. For a moment, she forgot where she was, who was watching, what she was running from, and she allowed herself to be swept away by a force stronger than her will. Without realizing it, tears began to stream down her sun-kissed face as the tumultuous circumstances of her life temporarily melted away. Her body relaxed and surrendered to the sweet melodies and driving bass that took control of her body and rendered her rational mind useless. For those few moments, she felt alive and connected to something primal and mysterious. To an outsider, especially a judgmental one, she might have appeared to be on the verge of insanity. Her body moving in a hundred directions, gutteral sounds coming from her core, her hair flailing as if in ecstasy. She needed this more than anyone would ever know. This sliver of time when she remembered her essence, her passion, and her desire to live. This one song might have just saved her.

So close....

Standing on tiptoes, his fingers digging into the rough edges, the little boy strains to see over the top of the jagged rock fence. Throughout his life, he has heard stories of the creatures that exist just beyond the boundaries of his neatly manicured lawn. Magical creatures with golden manes and wings the size of parachutes. Scary creatures with venom in their eyes and fire in their bellies. A fantastical world that defies the greatest hopes of his imagination. He has planned for this day, the day when dreams become reality and he is whisked away to a land of great adventure. Where he will be king of the world. An icon of strength. A leader of peace and salvation. He will have a pet monkey and call mermaids his playmates. He will fight dragons (but will not kill them because after all, he comes forth with an idealogy of non-violence). He strains a little harder to see over the fence...almost...almost...uh oh...he's losing his footing...he feels his body crumble to the ground. Damn. Tomorrow, he'll bring another step.

Sweet Surrender

In the distance there is laughter. She wraps her arms around her knees, pulling herself into a tight ball, shrinking to keep hidden in the shadows. She has always felt more comfortable on the outside, observing, soaking in the chaos and confusion of the inner circle. In the beginning, she ached with a longing to put on the mask and drape herself in familiar clothes, but as time passed, this urge subsided, giving way to a desire for the vulnerability of nakedness. It is these moments, in the darkness, separated from reality, that she feels completely herself. Free to dance. Free to dream. Free to listen to the voice within her soul. There is such indescribable beauty coloring the backdrop of this sweet surrender.

The Looking Glass

She stands silently gazing at her reflection in the mirror, her eyes shining as the light dances upon the pale blue centers. She takes a deep breath and searches into the person staring back as her, aching for a spark of recognition to reignite the fire that once burned so deeply within. For a brief second, she sees the flame and runs towards it, faster...faster...feeling herself propelled forward by a force much stronger than herself. As she approaches, the flame gets smaller and smaller until it is finally replaced by a faint wisp of smoke. She sighs, blinks her eyes, and finds solace in her physical surroundings. She embraces the intensity and prays for the tenacity to try again tomorrow as she realizes that she was closer than she's been in a while.

The Fragile Blossoming

Suddenly, yet slowly, liberated from the debris that has silently choked the passionate child
Spaces open
Emotions gently spread and touch the deep, jagged crevices
Whispering
Honoring the sensitivity of touch
She winces and tenses her body, standing as a warrior
Ready to protect the vulnerable alcoves that have been hidden from pain
Feeling for the first time, the warmth of the streaming tears,
Like sunlight caressing the drops of water in the blossoming flower,
Coaxing the creatures out of hiding
Embracing them with a gentle kiss.